Insanity of Motherhood

Motherhood, marriage, and midlife.

Adjustable

8 Comments

It’s been nine weeks since I arrived in Italy.  There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t say to myself, “I can’t believe I’m here.” Nine weeks ago I was living in the United States surrounded by all the things I’ve been familiar with for the last 25 years.  Now I am surrounded by the unfamiliar.

The best way to describe what I’ve been going through is to imagine you are tailor.  You love being a tailor and are good at it.  Some one calls and asks if would consider opening a clothing store using designs you’ve created.  You’re excited.  You’ll have an opportunity to showcase your talents and do what you love on a grander scale.  The person tells you the store will open in Italy.  Even better, right?  But there’s a catch.  You’ll need to leave your family behind and live alone in Italy for three months.  For the first three months you will not be doing sewing or design creation.  Instead you’ll be locating a place for your new store, working with legal issues, purchasing equipment, hiring staff…you get the idea.  Your excitement becomes clouded with reality.

I think one the reasons most people don’t pursue dreams is because of the adjustment period.  Adjusting from the known to the unknown is scary, unsettling and at times painful.  I’ve shed many tears since my arrival.  The circumstances I’ve had to deal with have been far from ordinary.  Yesterday I was expected for an appointment to visit a local school.  Feeling confident, I decided to meet my staff at the location instead of driving with her.   Mind you I’ve only been driving in Italy for a week.  I pulled out my GPS and headed on my way to the location.  As I pulled up to the destination I realized something was wrong.  There wasn’t a school in sight.  I called for directions, but it didn’t help.  I drove around searching desperately for the school to no avail.  Finally I called to say I wouldn’t make the appointment.  I drove back home feeling defeated.

Many times I’ve felt sure of a situation only to have it not work out.  This happens to everyone, but when you are out of your element it happens a lot more.  If I had gotten lost at home I would have called my husband, but here I had to figure it out on my own.  I didn’t realize how dependent I had become on the support of my family and friends until I was no longer with them.

Although the struggles have been real it doesn’t mean I would change the decision to move here.  Each day when I overcome a difficult situation I become more confident. When I try something new or different I become braver.  Every time I accomplish a task I didn’t think I could do, I realize I’m much more capable than I thought.  It’s a good thing. It’s a crazy, amazing, ridiculous, and wonderful adventure.  I’m proving I’m adjustable to a new life.  I’m proving working for a dream can be hard, but living a dream can be worth it.

 

 

 

Author: insanityofmotherhood

Mom of three boys, wife, educator, and all around nice gal in the middle of a midlife something. It's not a crisis, but it's something…

8 thoughts on “Adjustable

  1. this is really wonderful and i’m so happy for you. i’m glad you see the benefits in spite of all the struggles.

  2. It is a crazy adventure and one really needs to build life from scratch and learn life from scratch! Like you say, small things that you wouldn’t even think about in a setting you know become obstacles. But you’re a very resilient lady 😉 and I know you’ll take these obstacles as stepping stones and “jump”. And please believe me, the thing that happened with the school that wasn’t there where you thought it was: that happens to Italians too! And I know many internationals who take months (even years!) before driving in the new place. I think it’s time to give you a huge tap on your back (no, more than one!!) for the huge steps you already made in such a short time! – Sei bravissima! Vai avanti così che andrà tutto bene!! 😉 xxx

    • Thanks, Ute. I knew there would be challenges, but I could never have imagined how many there would be. People tell me I’m brave, but really I don’t have any other option other than to keep plugging away. 🙂

  3. I was just thinking about yesterday (again) as I walked up to school. You are so brave and it’s an adventure to be following your dream! So glad you posted an update. x

  4. You are truly an inspiration to me, Nancy. I am in my own home and in my own country and struggling. I will push forward thanks to you.

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