Insanity of Motherhood

Motherhood, marriage, and midlife.

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A conversation between a teenager and a mother.

Mother walks out of bathroom.  Mother picks up cell phone.  Mother reads text messages from teenage son.

“Hey, Mom.  Can I head to the beach with friends today?” – Tall Boy

“Hello?” – Tall Boy

“Hellloooo?”  Tall Boy

“Yo answer ur phone.  Its not that hard.” – Tall Boy

Mother glares at phone.  Mother types text response.

“Yo.  I was in the bathroom drying my hair and my hearing aids were off.  I couldn’t hear the phone.” – Mother

“Oh. No damage.  Can I go?” – Tall Boy

“Yo, no” – Mother


The Power of One Little Word

A conversation between a mother and a teenage son.

Mother and son engage in a conversation.  Mother discusses conversation held with son earlier in the day.

I’m disappointed in the way you handled my simple request this morning.  Your response was very self-centered.” – Mother

“I was in a hurry.  I didn’t have time to help you out.” – Tall Boy

“Yes, you did.  You had time.  I asked you help me with something that was important to me.  I was emotional and needed to know I could count on you.” – Mother

” I know.” – Tall Boy

“Remember to think of others as often as you think of yourself.  Your feelings are important, but so are other people’s.  Hearing how ill my dad is very hard.  I need to know you will support me when times are tough.  I need to know you will be the loving son I’ve raised you to be.” – Mother

“I’m sorry, Mom.  I know things have been hard for you lately.  I love you SO much.” – Tall Boy

Teenage son walks over to mother and gives her a hug.

“I’ve never heard you say that to me before.” – Mother

“Never say what?” – Tall Boy

“Say you love me SO much.” – Mother

“I tell you I love you all the time.” – Tall Boy

“You tell me you love me, but I’ve never heard you say you love me SO much.” – Mother

“I say it everyday I guess just not out loud.” – Tall Boy

Mother smiles.

“I love you SO much too.” – Mother

One little word can change everything.



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Anything Worse


A conversation between a mother and a teenage son.

Mother walks into family room and sees teenage son lying on the couch.

“Hey. Would you mind finding another place to read your magazine? Dad and I want to watch a movie.” – Mom

“I want to watch a movie too. What movie is it?” – Tall Boy

“The movie is called Her, by Spike Jonez. I’ve already seen it, but Dad hasn’t.” – Mom

“I heard that movie was good. Can I watch it with you guys?” – Tall Boy

“No. I want to watch it alone with Dad. Besides the movie has a masturbation scene. Do you want to watch a scene about masturbation with your mom sitting next to you?” – Mom

“I can’t think of anything worse. I’ll pass on the movie.” – Tall Boy

“Good choice.” – Mom


Wonderful Boy

A conversation between a mother, a father and a teenage boy.

Father walks into kitchen where mother is.

Honey,  we’re out of toilet paper.  I’m going to run to the store right now.” – Father

“I thought you were putting the little guy to bed?” – Mother

“We need toilet paper right away.  Do you want to have to go to the bathroom without toilet paper?” – Father

“No.  I guess you are right.  Okay, I’ll put the little guy down.  Let me see if one of the big boys will finish unloading the dishwasher.” – Mother

Mother walks down the hall to the big boys’ room.  Mother sees teenage boy lying on his bed.

“Dad is going to run an errand and I need to put the little guy down for bed.  Would you please finish cleaning the kitchen?” – Mother

What?  Why do I have to do it?” – Tall Boy

“I just told you why.  I’m putting your brother down for bed and dad is running an errand.  Everything is almost done.  I need you to finish putting the dishes away from the dishwasher.  Okay?” – Mother

Tall Boy groans.

“Come on.  It’s not a big deal.  Please help out.” – Mother

“Okay.” – Tall Boy

“Thank you.  You’re a wonderful boy.” – Mother



I’m Not Ready


A conversation between a mother, a father and a teenage boy.

Mother walks into house.  Mother puts down purse and computer.  Mother greets family.

Hi everyone.  How is it going?” – Mother

“Good.  How was your day?” – Father

“The usual…brutal.” – Mother (smirks)

Mother looks over at boy on the couch.

Hey buddy.  How are things in the land of high school?” – Mother

“Fine.  Not sure if I like the new Spanish teacher, but other that it’s pretty good.”- Teenage Boy

“How are the girls in high school?  How’s the love life going?” – Mother

“Good actually.” – Teenage Boy

“What?  What do you mean “good actually”? – Mother

I mean good.” – Teenage Boy

“Good meaning you like someone or someone likes you?” – Mother

“Both.” – Teenage Boy

“Care to provide a bit more information, Sherlock?” – Mother

“No.  My private life is private.” – Teenage Boy

“Since when?  Do you have classes with her?  Is she smart?  Is she nice?  What does she look like?” – Mother

“See.  This is why I didn’t want you to know.  You’re going to ask tons of questions.” – Teenage Boy

“No, I won’t.  Just a few questions.  I have a right to know about the girl trying to snag my son.” – Mother

“Geez.  Okay.  She’s in my class.  She told some mutual friends she likes me.  I went up to her and started talking to her.  Now we both like each other.  She is cute, really smart and nice.  End of story.” –  Teenage Boy

“End of story?  What does that mean?  Come on just a few more details.  What’s her name?  Does she have any siblings?  How old is she?  Did she go to your middle school?  Where does she live?  You know you can’t date until you are 17 right?  Only group dates for now.  Have you held her hand?  What does it mean when you both say you “like” each other?  How does this liking each other thing work?” – Mother

“I’m leaving.  This conversation is over.” – Teenage Boy

Teenage boy walks away from mother.

Wait.  Come back.  I want to know what’s going on.  I have rights…” – Mother

“Sweetie, let it go.  Let him go.” – Father

“But…” – Mother

“It’s happening.  There’s nothing we can do about it.  It’s part of life.  You went through it and so did I.” – Father

“I’m…I’m…I’m not ready for a relationship.  Just yesterday I was pushing him a stroller at the zoo.  Now he has a liking thing with a girl.  Sigh.” – Mother

“The stroller thing at the zoo was a while ago.  Besides at least he didn’t mention they were having sex yet.” – Father

“Ahhh.   Don’t say that.” – Mother


Back To Reality

A conversation between a mother and a teenage son.
Mother is on the computer.

Mom, are you almost done with the computer?  I need to check something out for school.” – Tall Boy

“Yeah.  I guess so.” – Mother

Son walks over to to mother and looks at the computer screen.  Mother is looking at a photo on the screen.

She is pretty don’t you think?  Hard to believe we’re both the same age.  She looks so young.” – Mother

Son looks closer at computer screen.

“She’s okay.  She looks fake to me.  Fake girls aren’t cute.  You’re a lot prettier, Mom.” – Tall Boy

Mother looks at son.  Mother smiles.

Besides,  you make a way better mother than she does.” – Tall Boy

“Really?” – Mother

“Yeah.” – Tall Boy

“Thank you.” – Mother

“Can you get off the computer now?” – Tall Boy

Back to reality.



A conversation between a mother and a teenage son.

Mother is driving teenager home from school.  Teenager looks out the window.

Man, I would never want that job.” – Tall Boy

“What are you talking about?  What job?”- Mother

Tall Boy points out the window toward fast food restaurant.

“Look at that girl.  She stands outside for hours holding that sign.  Somedays it’s really hot.  What an awful job.  She hardly moves.  She doesn’t even look real.” – Tall Boy

“She’s not.” – Mother

“What?  What do you mean?”- Tall Boy

Mother pulls over into restaurant parking lot.  Mother gets out of the car and takes a photo of the girl.  Mother gets back in car and hands the phone to teenager.


“Whoah.  Unreal.  Wonder how much she gets paid?” – Tall Boy